Thank you 2GenPro for sending us this game via Steam Curator!

Earlier this year, my wife was given the opportunity to review Jesus Strikes Back 2: The Resurrection. It was a terrible game, as this one is, and terribly blasphemous, but I also had to explain to her many of the jokes, since she doesn’t follow politics (and political memes) as closely as I do. So, when this one popped up on our curator, I figured, why not? I mean, I already knew it was horribly offensive, and I know for sure that this game is really not for most people. (I would never have bought or played it if it wasn’t free.) But now I can inform you all just how bad it really is (in more ways than one).

The premise of this game is, from their Steam page: “The year is 2028. Billionaire reptilian satanists G. Sorrows and M. Cuckerberg are president and vice-president of the USA. A strict communist regime is immediately implemented, resulting in millions of deaths, the collapse of the global economy and the end of free speech. The constitution is ripped to shreds and replaced with the decree of 74853769 genders.“ It then goes on to explain how the New World Order has taken over, and all straight males were sent to concentration camps. J.C. (Jesus Christ) returns to try to fix the situation, but they refuse to repent, so he teams up with the last remaining straight males, Tromp, Dolph, Pootin, Napolion, Mussolino, and Bolselnoro to free the people. They decide to use the quickest method possible – guns. Lots of guns.

This game is 3D rendered (if you can call it that – everything about this game is done terribly, probably on purpose) and it’s in 3rd person. You see your character in the center of the screen while walking/running, but if you want to shoot your enemies, you right-click and the camera shifts over at an angle, and the targeting reticle shows up in the middle of the screen. As you shoot and kill enemies, they drop money, health, and ammunition so that you can keep going. It rarely drops ammo for the currently equipped weapon, and you can equip six guns, so keeping things with a variety of ammo equipped is generally a positive.

This game is relatively short, with eight normal missions, and two arena-style maps with waves that don’t seem to end. You begin the game with some money; before starting the first stage, be sure to buy a firearm of some kind. And don’t forget to equip it and buy some ammo. I have to make these points because the user interface is absolutely terrible, and you have to do these things unless you enjoy getting swarmed and dying quickly.

As soon as J.C. shows up on the scene (or Tromp or any of the other playable characters) you arrive in a large open area near a liberal university, where he gets quickly attacked them swarmed by current or future communists. These take the form of boomer college professors, SJWs, male SJWs, radical frenzied non-binary people, and eventually the boss, Sandors. If you take out Sandors, you’ll soon complete the level and move on to the next one.

The other levels are all themed on some stereotype of modern leftist politics, like ‘Purify the Demonkrat Rally and Defeat the Obamination’. Other levels take place at an abortion clinic, an adult night club (where you get to fight ‘rainbow militants’), the USA-Mexico border, and even internationally where you get to take out ISIS or stop a climate change protest. Enemies include fake news journalists, thots, baby killers, Peelosee, coomers, illegal aliens, NPCs, Alexa Occasional Cortex, Islamic State Rapists, suicide bombers, and Ill Ham Omor and quite a few more. (Several of these names strongly resemble American politicians.) Many of the major stereotypes of the last several years are represented, as you kill them all.

The gameplay itself falls into the ‘so bad it’s funny’ camp, though it can also be frustrating. Everything about this game, whether it’s technical issues, enemy or player animations, or even how the enemy targeting works is wonky and poorly done. If the camera has you backed into a corner but you’re stuck because of swarms of bad guys, don’t expect to be able to shoot them if you can’t get your mouse over their bodies. The blasts seem to come from space (or the player) rather than your player character. You can also really easily kill yourself with anything explosive like a rocket launcher, which has gotten me many times. I recommend being very careful with anything explosive.

If it wasn’t obvious, this game is incredibly inappropriate; it’s violent, blasphemous, uses foul language, and satirical in the strongest of ways. Killing your deranged fellow man leaves behind blood and bodies, which fades to blood and chunks (often called ‘gibs’) as well as money, health, and ammo. The audio aspects of the game are probably the most well done part of it all, with many enemies announcing their presence with horribly stereotypical cries and screams. The ‘it’s a f*ck*ng white male!’ screech is featured prominently when some characters arrive; if you’ve been following some of the rather extreme far left elements over the last several years, you may recognize most if not all of the shouts being made, as they come from videos online. Speaking of which, virtually every major curse word is well represented.

Sexual content is present but mostly played for laughs. Since you and your team are the last of the straight males, that means all of the ones you kill are homosexual, and often make quips in the voice of a lisping stereotype. Thots (and simps and coomers) are present also. Non-binary and transgender enemies are also represented. ISIS members are disparaged quite prominently, including ‘Islamic State Rapists’, IS Kid Touchers, and IS Masturbaters. Demonkrats are featured prominently as well, with several examples being bosses of certain levels, like Sandors, Peelosee, Alexa Occasional Cortex, and Ill Ham Omor.

Jesus Strikes Back: Judgment Day (REMASTERED) is a parody/meme game that is admittedly pretty funny if you follow recent political insanity too closely. And the shooting action, while basic, is serviceable. But it’s also poorly made, and very offensive. With the foul langauge, gore, lack of clothing and general disparaging of other people groups, and of course the blasphemous idea of Jesus Christ shooting people who need saving to death, this should not be played around children. If you’re looking for a game that represents positive values, this is about as far from that as it comes. If you’re looking for a game with good production values, also look elsewhere. If you’re cracking up at the idea of Jesus shooting suicide bombers and NPCs, then you know what to do.