One of the things I learned in marriage is that a woman may tell you about her problems, but she doesn't necessarily want solutions.
That blew my mind, because I couldn't wrap my head around telling people problems just to have them listen. You talk about problems to get a solution... there is nothing else to do with a problem but to make it not a problem anymore.
But I am only but a man. I eventually got the system down. Listen, relate, and after she starts feeling better, solve.
Re: It's not about the nail!
Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:26 pm
by Emwok
....
That was confusing.
Re: It's not about the nail!
Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:46 pm
by ChickenSoup
ArchAngel wrote:One of the things I learned in marriage is that a woman may tell you about her problems, but she doesn't necessarily want solutions.
That blew my mind, because I couldn't wrap my head around telling people problems just to have them listen. You talk about problems to get a solution... there is nothing else to do with a problem but to make it not a problem anymore.
But I am only but a man. I eventually got the system down. Listen, relate, and after she starts feeling better, solve.
Pretty much this. I'm not married yet but this is something guys should learn quickly
Re: It's not about the nail!
Posted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 4:04 am
by Deepfreeze32
Maybe it's my personality type, but I would have pulled the nail out after she said "It's not about the nail". "In that case..." *pulls nail out*.
I can see it now:
"Why did you do that?"
"Well you said it wasn't about the nail. So I removed it. It was just extraneous, right?"
But in all seriousness...maybe I'm just weird, but I'd much rather talk about problems to be relieved, not to find solutions. I'm all about the solutions everywhere else, but when it comes to emotions and personal issues, talking it out works best for me. Maybe that's why I'm good friends with so many women...many of them say I'm a good listener.
Or maybe it's because I don't find women to be as abrasive as men (or it could be the men I know...). Meh.