Spam 2...the next thousand pages....

[Chozon1]

Oh yeah, I've got rhythm, I've got music, I've got my girl.

Who could ask for anything more?

[Drewsov]

I dunno. You could always ask for a dancing monkey. That way, the rhythm never leaves... it just makes a mess in the front room.

[Chozon1]

Monkey's are boss...

[Drewsov]

Well, while your usage of the term "boss" is what I'd refer to as "dated," I do agree. Everyone loves a monkey. However, monkeys in positions of power are a horrible idea.

Have you ever seen Planet of the Apes? If we accidentally find ourselves under monkey control, we face a MONKEY APOCALYPSE!!!! That's a step above a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!!! because monkeys aren't brain guzzling dead dudes, out to gorge themselves on us. They simply want bananas and enslavement of the human race, which is terrifying. I will not pick fleas from you, Dr. Zaius. I refuse to.

Of course, above the idea of the MONKEY APOCALYPSE!!!! is the APOCALYPSE NOW!!!! which is a brilliantly directed picture by Francis Ford Coppola, during the beginning of which a pretty much naked Martin Sheen rolls around on the floor for no reason that I can remember. And, of course, after the terror of APOCALYPSE NOW!!! comes APOCALYPSE NOW REDUX!!!! which is the director's cut of the terror and intensity of APOCALYPSE NOW!!!!

Past that, we have the MARTIAN APOCALYPSE!!!! which is only slightly less terrifying than the ALIEN APOCALYPSE!!!! that threatens us to this day. The MARTIAN APOCALYPSE!!!! is frightening because we know the enemy is alien, green, and likely has one eye. An ALIEN APOCALYPSE!!!! could consist of illegal immigrants, aliens from outer space, or some combination thereof, thus rendering the solidarity of our nation meaningless.

I'm sure I'm missing one.

But either way, monkeys may be cool, but they are certainly not boss.

[Chozon1]

Monkey's are boss man! Accept it! The evolutionists have been saying it for years, and while I don't agree in the same sense as they do, Monkey's R TEH RULZORS!!!

And what about BACTERIAL APOCALYPSE!!!!!! Ehich is when all the antibacterial soaps and chemicals backfire to creat an unkillable super germ , which wipes out humanity in a single blow.

Who's left to rule then friend? That's right: The Boss Monkey's.

[Drewsov]

And that means... enslavement by Dr. Zaius!

What about the NINJA APOCALYPSE!!!! where we don't see what's coming until the collective we have knives in our collective backs?! What about the BOY BAND APOCALYPSE!!!! wherein all of the former boy bands of yesteryear get together and become Goodwill Ambassadors to the world? They'll give America a bad name! We don't all sing like that! Look at Bob Dylan! What about the inevitable RABBIT APOCALYPSE!!!! where the rabbits cover the earth with their spawn and wipe out mankind? Yes, I have a family of rabbits living in my backyard. But guess what? Soon, very soon, they'll be living in your backyard, too. Because that's what they do. It. Never. Stops. What about the ICP APOCALYPSE!!! which we won't even touch because of the sheer horror, inhumanity and stupidity of the idea? What about the BRITPOP APOCALYPSE!!!! where all you hear all day are Oasis and Blur and Powder? That's horrifying. That's a really terrifying thought. And if you don't know about it... I have ways. Ways to make you terrified of Britpop and the sheer evil contained therein.

And I've forgotten one. The TELETUBBIES APOCALYPSE!!!! I haven't forgotten about them, you see. Their images are still burned in my retinas, imprinted on my memory for ever, for all time. They corrupt the children of the world. And for that... we must suffer.

And to further my argument, monkeys are not boss! That's a slang word from the 1950s! What are you? The Fonz? Go jump the shark!

[Chozon1]

Hey! Who you calling the Fonz? *Hides leather jacket*

You've forgotten the most horrible apocalypse of all time:

NERD APOCALYPSE!!!!!!! Where they use their computer and Star Trek knowledge to take over first the internet, then cable TV! Comi-Con's will be weekly! Braces bill's will SKYROCKET! The army may intercept their communications BUT IT WILL DO NO GOOD!!! They don't know what :W3 sh@1l t@k3 0V3r TEH INTERWEBZORS" means!!!! They can't understand talk of what happened in episode 69!!!!!!!!!!


THEIR INSTOPPABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Drewsov]

Sadly... you may be right. Although the sheer stupidity of the ICP APOCALYPSE!!!! might crush the NERD APOCALYPSE!!!! under its weight.

Still, none of that is as terrifying as the PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY APOCALYPSE!!!! which will pelt you with free samples of unneeded medicine until you go blind. Or the TALK SHOW HOST APOCALYPSE!!!! where Oprah and Tyra and Maury and Dr. Phil and all of their ilk come and try to get everyone to help themselves. Never before was the phrase "Help me help you" more terrifying or powerful, nor has it ever been more destructive. And that all pales in comparison to the NERDY BILLIONAIRE APOCALYPSE!!!! wherein Bill Gates attempts philanthropy to fatal results. Or the TABASCO BRAND HOT SAUCE APOCALYPSE!!!! where a sudden, devastating meltdown of a Tabasco plant spews the branded sauce into the sky. Then we shall know the real meaning of acid rain. Yet that can't be more destructive than a LOUNGE SINGER APOCALYPSE!!!! where Tom Jones and his Vegas-based brethren form a coalition to destroy democracy and the free world under an oligarchy of devastating proportions.

That. Would. Destroy. Us.

[Lazarus]

XD

Best. Conversation. Ever.

[Kendrik]

XD

Best. Conversation. Ever.

What. Just. Happened?

[Lazarus]

You don't want to know.

[Kendrik]

Laz, I'm going to do you this one favor this one time: I'm going to forget you ever rolled your eyes at me.

Now, if you're as wise a man as I give you credit for, you won't do that again. We have an understanding, yes?

Otherwise... check your PM inbox in a short bit.


(Lest anyone think that I've gonemore crazy... I'm just having some fun with Godfather-esque writing, and I don't hate Laz. XD)

[Drewsov]

Laz, Kendrick... everyone...

You were just privy to what some refer to as "Scott's Train of Thought." It's a mysterious entity that results in random things that are on occasion verbalized.

In other words, that's what just happened.

[ohnolookout]

Beavers!

[Lazarus]

Laz, I'm going to do you this one favor this one time: I'm going to forget you ever rolled your eyes at me.

Forget?! Hah!