Christ Centered Gamer

Here's my recipe for this movie:

In a bowl, take one short story. Excise anything but the characters names.

Invert the basic story of Twilight and add to first bowl.

Add in poor acting, no real point, and low budget special effects to taste.

Burn in the fires of Angband until anything remotely in good taste is eliminated.


Anyway. This movie's original title was Edgar Allen Poe's Ligeia. The fact that changed the title is the only thing keeping me from attacking the people that came up with this pathetic excuse for a film on sight. Because, as noted above, it isn't actually based on the short story.

And it's not that the basic premise is entirely horrible. For that matter, I'd not have minded it's blatant disregard for the Poe story if it had been well done. It still wouldn't have been great, but it wouldn't have entirely sucked.

But no. Even if I ignored the plot holes I could drive a battleship through blindfolded, there's still that little matter of having to see people souls being sucked out of their bodies via something that looks like a cyberpunk/S&M face mask and a simple metal bottle, which they are then contained in. Oh, and then you see the peoples faces...in the blue mist floating around in the soul bottle.

Oh, and for effect the lights go out every time a soul is sucked out. Even though the mask thing is not plugged in to the power system. And even when they're just being moved from bottle to bottle.

The "symbolism" present pretty much amounts to rather juvenile "o look wat we did heer, lol" moments. Like when Ligeia is seducing the guy (because that's even remotely like the original...) the camera flashes to a snake toying with and eating a rat. Subtle, eh?

Of course this movie tries to be scary. And isn't even close. Ever. The creepy little girl who's eyes turn black as the lighting flashes? Yeah, we just saw a bunch of smoke go into her. See kids, this is why you don't smoke pot. You'll get possessed by dead people who are possessed by other dead people.

Worst part of all of it? They not only gave it a happy ending, they ended it with a sequel setup. And apparently there's a bit of something in the end credits. Won't be watching it.

*sigh*

I hate Hollywood.