Just as an experiment

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Orodrist
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Just as an experiment

Postby Orodrist » Sun Aug 26, 2012 11:36 pm

I'd like to invite everyone to join me in writing their suicide notes. you don't have to post them; I may or may not post mine, but...it's...idk. It makes you think a little.
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do - Robert A Heinlein

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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby ccgr » Mon Aug 27, 2012 9:14 am

Goodbye world.

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Nate DaZombie
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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby Nate DaZombie » Mon Aug 27, 2012 9:19 am

I got there first suckers!

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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby ArchAngel » Mon Aug 27, 2012 12:28 pm

"It is not as it seems. Orodrist did it.

And do not check my browser history. Clear it and delete the folder entitled "tax forms".

I and other's are being a little facetious about it, and let's face it, it's a pretty dark and macabre thing to ask.
I find it interesting that you think it's thought provoking.

I'd imagine writing or envisioning your own eulogy is more constructive exercise.
Why a suicide note?
Pew Pew Pew. Science.

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Orodrist
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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby Orodrist » Mon Aug 27, 2012 6:49 pm

Every self written eulogy I've ever read just ends up sounding like an ego trip. Writing an honest suicide note is...incredibly open and uncensored. What other people think loses its relevancy entirely. And let's face it, a person's last words aren't something to be taken lightly. Writing a suicide note forces you to essentially tear yourself apart and see all the little reasons you have no need to live. And it's hard writing your goodbyes, especially the really personal ones.
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do - Robert A Heinlein

Courage ~ Discipline ~ Fidelity ~ Honor ~ Hospitality ~ Industriousness ~ Perseverance ~ Self Reliance ~

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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby ArchAngel » Mon Aug 27, 2012 7:23 pm

You give suicide notes too much credit; someone who commits suicide very rarely is thinking in an objective frame of mind. It takes an incredible amount of hopelessness and disconnection from society to truly drive someone to that point. Open and uncensored, sure. But only honest from a certain frame of mind.

And you're right, a eulogy could be an ego trip, so the way I see it, it's the opposite side of a coin to a suicide note. A suicide note rarely is anything more than an expression of pain or loneliness, and eulogy is almost always a recognition of friendship and accomplishments. One lays out the reasons to not live and the other lays out the reasons to live.

What other's think doesn't lose relevancy at all; it's incredibly important. It's often overwhelmingly negative interactions, or lack of them at all, that drive people to suicide. We're a social creature, right to our DNA. We need other people and so much of what we do is more or less done for the approval of others, whether direct or indirect, whether concretely or abstractly. And so looking at your life from another's point of view might give some objectivity. It could put priorities in line. What do you want to have left behind for your loved ones?

I'm truly trying to understand the advantages of exploring the mind of a suicide. The best I could find is to try to understand those who are struggling with thoughts and desires of suicide, but a mind game seems a bit trivial. You'd need to really go through it yourself to relate to them.
But, from the sounds of it, you're referring to the intrinsic value of writing a suicide note. What do I find out about myself?
I'm not sure. I remember thinking, no, fantasizing about it on many occasions but I never got close enough to try.
I honestly can't even picture what I'd want to put on it, probably something about being alone; maybe I never truly was in danger.

As for last words, they aren't something to be taken lightly. You're right. I suppose that would truly be the exercise worth undertaking. If you were to die tonight, what would you say to the others? What legacy would you leave for others? What's really important?
Pew Pew Pew. Science.

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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby Nate DaZombie » Mon Aug 27, 2012 8:44 pm

I'm sure a deep, thought-provoking answer is better suited for this thread but...
Spoiler:
I'd probably just see how many people I could tick off (that I don't like). I figure I'm going to see my loved ones in heaven, so I'm just not all that concerned about them. Everyone else on the other hand... :twisted:

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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby JOJ650s » Mon Aug 27, 2012 10:07 pm

I'm sure a deep, thought-provoking answer is better suited for this thread but...
Spoiler:
I'd probably just see how many people I could tick off (that I don't like). I figure I'm going to see my loved ones in heaven, so I'm just not all that concerned about them. Everyone else on the other hand... :twisted:
Spoiler:
You mean kinda like what Bilbo Baggins did in Lord of the Rings on his farewell birthday party?
Man, in the book those hobbits were upset.
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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby Orodrist » Mon Aug 27, 2012 11:21 pm

You give suicide notes too much credit; someone who commits suicide very rarely is thinking in an objective frame of mind. It takes an incredible amount of hopelessness and disconnection from society to truly drive someone to that point. Open and uncensored, sure. But only honest from a certain frame of mind.
But it still shows a part of you. If you're truly capable of driving yourself to the point of suicide simply to write, like I've been trying, you learn a lot about yourself. Yes, relative to your unstable state of mind, but it's a learning experiment/

What other's think doesn't lose relevancy at all; it's incredibly important. It's often overwhelmingly negative interactions, or lack of them at all, that drive people to suicide. We're a social creature, right to our DNA. We need other people and so much of what we do is more or less done for the approval of others, whether direct or indirect, whether concretely or abstractly. And so looking at your life from another's point of view might give some objectivity. It could put priorities in line. What do you want to have left behind for your loved ones?
And yet what others think and feel will always remain simply a trigger. The end cause of suicide will always be what someone thinks of them self. Yes, people oft let the opinions of others shape that, but it is not, in the end, the true reason.

I'm truly trying to understand the advantages of exploring the mind of a suicide. The best I could find is to try to understand those who are struggling with thoughts and desires of suicide, but a mind game seems a bit trivial. You'd need to really go through it yourself to relate to them.
But, from the sounds of it, you're referring to the intrinsic value of writing a suicide note. What do I find out about myself.
I'm not sure. I remember thinking, no, fantasizing about it on many occasions but I never got close enough to try.
I honestly can't even picture what I'd want to put on it, probably something about being alone; maybe I never truly was in danger.
You learn what you hate about yourself. And no, you probably were never in danger. I am, and honestly the process of writing it all out clarifies things. It doesn't help, per say, but it makes things clearer.


As an aside, for those who don't know I've ended up with a little side hobby of helping people with stuff like this. I have stopped a few suicides, among other things, so it is kinda a familiar and touchy subject, even without my personal dealings in the matter.
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do - Robert A Heinlein

Courage ~ Discipline ~ Fidelity ~ Honor ~ Hospitality ~ Industriousness ~ Perseverance ~ Self Reliance ~

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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby ArchAngel » Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:55 pm

And yet what others think and feel will always remain simply a trigger.
I'm talking about behavior on a much more mechanical layer, more subconscious.
And no, you probably were never in danger. I am, and honestly the process of writing it all out clarifies things. It doesn't help, per say, but it makes things clearer.
People are likely to feel more in danger than they actually are. If you asked me to write a suicide note 10 years ago, I would have a full, heart-felt one typed out. But that was then, and I'm never going back. It's all just a blur.
I truly hope you aren't in danger, but I obviously don't know you well enough. Given how open you are to talking about this, I'd say you aren't currently.
Glad to see you were able to help others out of it, though.


I've always been one for introspection and given that, my biggest reservation for this is addictive nature of pain and sadness. I remember how I felt, and how only pain could ease pain. Sadness was my only friend. Even now, during small moments of depression, it feels like an old friend.
It's too easy to get caught in a vicious cycle, obsessing over one's depression. As little as I know, I feel like I'm seeing these signs from you; you seem to have a love affair with sadness.
Maybe I'm overlaying my life on others, and maybe it actually is helpful for you, but I know for young, depressed Arch, it would only lead me deeper down the rabbit hole.

Now, don't think I'm arguing for a sunshine and roses optimism in life. Pain and sadness are important and need to be reflected upon and understood. Here, you and I probably agree. I just find the suicide note to be potentially more harmful than insightful.
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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby ChickenSoup » Fri Aug 31, 2012 11:47 pm

Here's mine:
screw all ya'll I'm going off to the infinite buffet/ice cream bar in the big blue Chuck E. Cheese up above
My name is ChickenSoup and I have several flavors in which you may be interested

I also have a slightly PG-13 tumblr that you may not enjoy

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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby CountKrazy » Sat Sep 01, 2012 7:53 pm

Here's mine:
screw all ya'll I'm going off to the infinite buffet/ice cream bar in the big blue Chuck E. Cheese up above
That

is exactly what I was going to write

Suicide pact time, Matthias
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Re: Just as an experiment

Postby Nate DaZombie » Sat Sep 01, 2012 8:47 pm

Here's mine:
screw all ya'll I'm going off to the infinite buffet/ice cream bar in the big blue Chuck E. Cheese up above
If I knew where you were IRL, I would personally drive to see you, and hand you the biggest cookie I could find. But alas, and I can offer is a rep point for that amazing post. :P


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