MantaRay

User avatar
Eagle Eyes
VIP Member
VIP Member
Posts: 1382
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:56 am
Are you human?: Yes!
Location: In my hubby's arms.

MantaRay

Postby Eagle Eyes » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:07 am

Introduction

In the main office of a large building, sits a man behind his beautiful and elegantly made Tamboti desk.

He is wondering why his business is standing still, financially, because everything else is booming. He wonders why his employees can’t find the problem, they’ve been working on it for weeks now and still no trace of finding a clue to the source. “But I’ve gone through the files myself” he thinks “and not even I can find it.” He thinks of someone he knows very well that was in his situation once. He thinks “maybe he can give me more insight on what to do.”

He abruptly stood up from his high back leather chair and walks to the window and looks through the large glass towards the opposite building and agrees with his thoughts to ask his friend. Next to the exit is a clothes hanger with his coat and jacket. He moves from the window after ten minutes to the door, takes his coat and leaves.

He leaves his building and walks to the one he looked at from his office.

As he enters the building a corridor greets him with it’s many large and beautiful crystal chandeliers, shiny blue marble tiles and portraits. It’s a magnificently long corridor and he follows it and it’s stunning beauty to the end, there he was greeted by a magnificently beautiful door with pictures of wild cats engraved into it. He pushes the door to open and discovers a large office that could be a home for him. Inside as he enters he sees the coat hanger by the door, as he goes deeper he sees a leather lounge suite and an oversized flat screen TV built into the wall. He goes deeper and finds a bar area, he could see it was well stocked, he passes through and finds a large desk with four high back leather chairs, three on the one side and one on the other. On the walls of dark green were portraits of his friends family, as he looked at them he smiled.

His friend came from a door in the wall on the left. He greeted Ray with a handshake sat down and said “This is a pleasant surprise! Is there something I can do for you?” He showed Ray to have a seat, Ray sat down and said ”Yes” and relaxed into the chair he had chosen and continued “I have problem and no one can tell me where it comes from or how to fix it.” His friend leaned forward to put his arms on the desk and said “how do you mean? What kind of problem are we talking about?” Ray answered, “A financial one, everything is going as expected and so everything is booming, but my profits are on a standstill, it’s like it’s frozen in space.” He paused and then continued “I even went through the files myself and couldn’t find it. I don’t know what to do anymore! Then I thought of you, you were in this situation once, do you have some advice for me?” His friend relaxed into his chair again and thought about Rays problem.

He then reached into his drawer and slid a silver coloured card towards Ray. Ray took the card and looked at it, on it was the name and number of a woman called M.C. Manta. Rays friend didn’t return to his previous position, instead he leaned on his desk again, he looked at Ray and said “That is my advice. Phone her and tell her about your problem. She almost does magic.” Ray looked carefully at the silver card and said “That’s it? All I have to do is phone her to fix my problem?” Rays friend nodded and Ray said ”Ok. I’ll phone her then, if you trust her so do I.”

Ray got up from his chair, walked to the door and said goodbye with a wave of his hand.

Chapter1

Ray got up the next morning thinking about that silver card while he was getting ready for work.

When he got to the office he took the earpiece off the phone hook to dial the number but just as he picked it up his girlfriend came flying through the door giving him a huge shock. She put all her bags down and said “I got something for you!” Ray shot up from his chair and said as he walked to the door ”Why do you always have to charge through the door like some hooligan?!” He then slammed the door closed hard. She covered her ears at the sound of the slamming door. “Don’t you ever think?! I was going to do something real important and now I can’t remember what the hell it was!!” He shouted but his anger subsided when she kept quiet. He went to her and she looked at him with big eyes, she had never seen him like this. She then replied “I’m sorry honey, I didn’t mean to scare you like that but I was so excited and now I don’t know why either.” He smiled at her remark and said “You said you got me something.” “Oh!” she replied and started to fiddle in her bags, while she was busy looking for whatever it was she was looking for, he went back to his chair and saw the silver card and remembered what he wanted to do. “But I can’t call her when Sibel is here” he thought to himself.

She was still looking in her bags after five minutes and then “A ha!” Ray was stuck in a day dream and jumped in his chair at the sound of her victory of finding the item she was looking for, he looked at her and asked “What’s that?” She looked at him with big eyes and then looked at the little statue in her hand and replied “I don’t know, I saw it and thought you might like it.” She stepped to the desk and handed the statue to him and he looked at it with disgust in his heart and fake happiness on his face as it was a statue of a slimy blob, it was slimy as well. She was ecstatic by the happy look on his face and said “I knew you would like it!” With thought he said “Yes… I like it.” Then he set it on the far corner of his desk so it is out of his way.

She ran around the desk, gave him a kiss and said “I have a busy day today.” Ray then looked at the bags as she picked them up to leave and said “Yes, I can see that.” She looked at him, then at the bags and started to giggle “Jip! And I’m going to meet Charles now. You know that we are having an affair, right?” Ray looked at her and pretended to be suspicious and said “You’re only saying that to make me jealous.” She looked at him and said “No, it’s the truth. Anyway I have to get these home.” Ray shook his head after she closed the door in humour still thinking she said that to make him jealous.

After ten minutes of drinking coffee he remembered to phone the number on the silver card. He picked up the phone and dialled the number and a young mans voice answered the phone “Hello, Mark Hazel speaking.”
Ray; “Hello, is M.C. Manta there?”
Mark; “Yes but she is a bit busy at the moment with a client who’s giving her some trouble. Can I take a message?”
Ray; “No, I’ll phone later”
Mark “Ok, you can try again after fifteen minutes”
Ray; “Thank you, I’ll do that.”
Mark; “No problem. Bye.”
Ray; “Bye”
“Click”
Ray relaxed into his chair thinking of what to do now while he was looking at the mountain of paper standing on his desk. Then his phone rang. He answered “Hello.”
Person; “Hello, who am I speaking to?”
Ray; “You are speaking to Ray Victorian.”
Person; “Oh. Sorry. Wrong number.”
Ray; ”May I know who I’m talking “Click” to?...”
Ray got up and took the papers to his secretary and said “You have a look at these, if you see something call me.” She replied “Yes sir. But did you look at them first?” Ray said “No, I trust your judgement. Let me know will you?” and then he disappeared back into his office. She looked at the door and saw he put a piece of paper around the handle saying “Don’t disturb me.”

He went back to his chair and phoned the same number again. This time a young woman answered.
M.C.; “Hello, M.C. speaking.”
Ray; “I’m Ray Victorian, I heard you can help me with a problem I have.”
M.C.; “Oh, I’ve been expecting to hear from you. Financial, right?”
Ray; ”Yes. But why did you expect to hear from me?”
M.C.; “One of my big clients, who also happens to be your friend, told me you were going to phone me for help.”
Ray; “Okay.”
M.C.; “So, how big is you problem?”
Ray; “Well, I’ve been trying to…”
M.C.; “No! no! no! Not over the phone. Okay, here’s what I mean. On a scale of one to ten, how big is it?”
Ray; “Oh. Well, eh, I’d say about ten.”
Last edited by Eagle Eyes on Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:32 am, edited 4 times in total.
Never judge a book by it's cover
and don't underestimate them either.

User avatar
Eagle Eyes
VIP Member
VIP Member
Posts: 1382
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:56 am
Are you human?: Yes!
Location: In my hubby's arms.

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby Eagle Eyes » Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:19 am

M.C.; “Okay. I’ll be there in an hour. Is that okay?”
Ray; “Yes, it’s alright.”
M.C.; “Okay, bye.”
Ray; “Bye.”
“Click”




Please let me know what you think of this part.

I will post the next part tomorrow.

Helpfull criticism is welcome :wink: :thumbup: especially on the slimy blob statue part.

He he
Never judge a book by it's cover
and don't underestimate them either.

User avatar
ccgr
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 17404
Joined: Tue May 24, 2005 7:00 pm
Are you human?: Yes!
Location: IL
Contact:

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby ccgr » Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:04 am

typos:

els >> else

He abruptly stand up >> stood up

User avatar
Eagle Eyes
VIP Member
VIP Member
Posts: 1382
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:56 am
Are you human?: Yes!
Location: In my hubby's arms.

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby Eagle Eyes » Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:32 am

Thanx.

Fixed :wink:

Can't find els.
Never judge a book by it's cover
and don't underestimate them either.

User avatar
ccgr
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 17404
Joined: Tue May 24, 2005 7:00 pm
Are you human?: Yes!
Location: IL
Contact:

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby ccgr » Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:19 am

because everything els is booming

User avatar
Eagle Eyes
VIP Member
VIP Member
Posts: 1382
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:56 am
Are you human?: Yes!
Location: In my hubby's arms.

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby Eagle Eyes » Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:51 am

Thanx.
Never judge a book by it's cover
and don't underestimate them either.

User avatar
Chozon1
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 22960
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:00 pm
Location: In the shadows. Waiting for an oppurtune moment to create a dramatic entrance.

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby Chozon1 » Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:28 am

I like it. Especially the descriptive intro.

You might not have to put the names down in the phone conversation. But if you like it the way it is, I think it's cool.
Image

User avatar
Eagle Eyes
VIP Member
VIP Member
Posts: 1382
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:56 am
Are you human?: Yes!
Location: In my hubby's arms.

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby Eagle Eyes » Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:41 am

Lol thanx.

I'm actually trying to make a script of it, but i'll edit it into that later, now i just want to write the story.

Also, the names i put there so everyone can know who's talking. I also find it more fun that way :wink:
Never judge a book by it's cover
and don't underestimate them either.

User avatar
Chozon1
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 22960
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:00 pm
Location: In the shadows. Waiting for an oppurtune moment to create a dramatic entrance.

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby Chozon1 » Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:42 am

Kewl. ^_^
Image

User avatar
Eagle Eyes
VIP Member
VIP Member
Posts: 1382
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:56 am
Are you human?: Yes!
Location: In my hubby's arms.

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby Eagle Eyes » Fri Aug 05, 2011 3:22 am

An hour later Ray was pacing the floor to figure out if he hadn’t missed anything. The phone peeped but he was too deep in his thoughts to hear it. Then a knock on the door but he didn’t hear that either. M.C. then said to his secretary “I’ll go in then. He didn’t hear his phone and he didn’t hear the door.” His secretary then said “He is a short tempered man and may get angry when he sees you opening the door, plus, it’s going to ruin your first impression.” M.C. then said “I don’t work on first impressions anymore, not for a long time. I work on how well my work is.” She then opened the door and walked in.

She stepped into the office looking at all his portraits on his walls, Looked at his only couch and small TV on a coffee table. She then looked toward the desk area and saw a man pacing the floor. He was wearing a very elegant looking black suit, it made him look extremely sexy in her taste. She moved closer to the desk area, walked passed him and said “Hi” And he replied “Hi” without realising she was there. She then made herself comfortable in his chair so she can watch him pace the floor. She looked at him and saw a man not so old and yet not so young but could see given the chance the youthfulness in his spirit will show it’s face.

After ten minutes of pacing he decided to sit down, M.C. still in his chair, realised this and got up from his chair as quickly and quietly as possible. He sat down and she went behind his chair looking at the paper he was looking at, then she went and sat down on one of the other chairs on the other side of the desk. After ten minutes she decided to have a look at his bookshelf, found his largest book and threw it on the floor to make a big sound.

At the sound of the book he snapped out of his thoughts and jumped up from his chair with rage. She then looked at him and said “Oops!” He looked at her with rage filled eyes while she put back the book. He didn’t take his eyes off her because he didn’t remember her coming in and said “How the hell did you get passed my secretary?!” She looked at him thinking he must have been real deep in his thoughts and replied “Well, I first went to her and told her you were expecting me, she tried the phone but you didn’t hear it, then we tried knocking on the door and you didn’t hear that either. So I decided to come in.” He sat down again and thought about it, then she continued “So, I came in, walked right passed you and said hi and you even replied. Then I went and sat in your chair, it’s very comfy by the way, and got up again when you wanted to sit. I went and sat in this chair and waited ten minutes, then got up and found the largest book in your shelf to throw down onto the floor. Any other questions?” His rage went missing in action while she explained how she got into his office. He then asked “You actually sat in my chair?” Surprised she looked at him and replied “Yes” while sitting down. There was a long silence in the room.

After a while Ray decided to break the ice asking her a question “Did you wait long before you came in?” She relied while busy with her phone “No, not really.” He looked at her phone and saw she was busy texting to somebody and asked “Is it important?” She looked at him, puzzled by his question, then he pointed to her phone. She then replied “Yes. But I’m done” She then reached into her back pocket to get her notepad and asked “Okay. What is this problem you have? Explain it to me.” He relaxed into his chair and said “Well, for two years things have been going according to plan, the sales are booming, production is growing. But my profits are on ice.” She wrote something in her notepad and asked “How long has it been on ice for?” He thought about it and said “A year, maybe. I only realised this about two months ago and ever since my employees have tried to find the problem so they can stop it but couldn’t find anything.” M.C. wrote something in her notepad again and then relaxed into the chair. After sitting quietly for two minutes she said “They’ve either looked in the wrong places or someone is leading them away from it.” Ray looked puzzled and she said “As in concealing the problem.” Ray then said “Oh. But who?” M.C. then replied “I don’t know, yet. I’ll have to go through all the files, computer files, employee files and your file too. To see who’s doing what and if they are hiding something. When can I start?” Ray thought about this for a moment and said “Tomorrow.” M.C. then stood up from her chair and said “Okay. Tomorrow then. Can I ask you to keep this to yourself? This is so we don’t scare off the person who is doing this.” Ray stood up and said “Sure.” And escorted her to the door. She shook hands with him and told him what a pleasure it was to meet him and left.

Ray returned to his desk and looked around in some files, after about ten minutes he went and sat down on his couch and decided to lie down and think about what M.C. said. He lay there for twenty minutes and decided to go home for the rest of the day. He needs some sleep. Urgently!
Never judge a book by it's cover
and don't underestimate them either.

User avatar
Chozon1
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 22960
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:00 pm
Location: In the shadows. Waiting for an oppurtune moment to create a dramatic entrance.

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby Chozon1 » Sat Aug 06, 2011 8:57 pm

Interesting.
Image

User avatar
ccgr
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 17404
Joined: Tue May 24, 2005 7:00 pm
Are you human?: Yes!
Location: IL
Contact:

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby ccgr » Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:15 am

getting better :)

User avatar
Eagle Eyes
VIP Member
VIP Member
Posts: 1382
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:56 am
Are you human?: Yes!
Location: In my hubby's arms.

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby Eagle Eyes » Mon Aug 08, 2011 1:07 am

Thanx.

Will post next part soon.

Lol.
Never judge a book by it's cover
and don't underestimate them either.

User avatar
Eagle Eyes
VIP Member
VIP Member
Posts: 1382
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 11:56 am
Are you human?: Yes!
Location: In my hubby's arms.

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby Eagle Eyes » Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:42 pm

Hey guys.

Sorry to have kept you waiting.

Haven't been home much lately and such.

Anyway, im busy with the next part so keep your eyes peeled for the next one coz it's on it's way.

:wink:
Never judge a book by it's cover
and don't underestimate them either.

User avatar
Chozon1
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 22960
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:00 pm
Location: In the shadows. Waiting for an oppurtune moment to create a dramatic entrance.

Re: No Name book by EE

Postby Chozon1 » Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:12 am

Kewl. ^_^
Image


Return to “Writing”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests

cron