2018 has been a beautiful year here so far, with my wife quitting her job of 13 years in January and us going into business together doing full time Indiegame Development. But with that I've been busier than ever in my entire life, and the work is harder than anything I've done so far (which in retrospect I am extremely thankful for, because it means I made it 36 years without having to really give a job my everything,
I guess!). Anyway, I think partially because of that and partially because of a very slow moving major project at church, I haven't been feeling God's presence lately. I've had that happen in the past, but not for about six years, really, and so I think even though I remembered what it was like in my HEAD, I forgot what it was like for my HEART, if that makes sense.
The good news is I think I'm coming out of it currently, but I know it's something that happens to everyone (or at least most) as we live our lives. I wanted to share this post: https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/ ... ls-distant
which helped me a whole lot while I was up at 3AM one day wishing I could feel God close by again. It helped me remember I need this experience to connect with others going through the same thing, and just that realization was like opening a door and being a lot more free. I think I had been "trying" so hard that it wasn't working when praying and such. (Plus my brain has been so full of thoughts it's hard to have a moment of quiet, and the moments of quiet are where God speaks loudest, if you'll pardon the [true] cliche.)
At this point I'm rambling, but I just wanted to say if anyone reading is in one of those times that feel "away from God" just remember He loves you and keep seeking Him and reading Scripture, even when it feels unfulfilling at times! We all need those often-dark moments to teach us things we just can't learn any other way, I think.
EDIT: Oh also, previous to this year I would always listen to Christian music like Relient K and Switchfoot on daily commutes, but now that the office is the next room over and takes 10 steps to get to, there's no commute! I think that caused some of the rift, too, as I was used to getting that burst of worship in song form daily, and then it was gone. I started listening again via YouTube even while at my desk, and that helped too.