"In the dry-off area next to the baptismal pool, a dripping congregant, who identified himself only as Eddie, was trying to get his iPhone to turn back on. He told reporters, “This was my first Sunday here.” Asked if he planned on returning to Elevation Church he said, “No. I think I’ll stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.”
This had me going. I totally needed that lol.
I love this site, I will say that most of these fake stories sound like they could have actually happened. Defintely Onion quality satire IMO.
“If the history of the 20th Century proved anything, it proved that however bad things were, human ingenuity could usually find a way to make them worse.” - Theodore Dalrymple