The Joke Thread

For threads that strayed off topic or never made sense in the first place.
Lahd
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Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Potatosaur
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Why did the chicken cross the road?


To get to the other side!

Best joke of all time
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kittycathead
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What did the sword tell the man?
Spoiler:
"Lookin' sharp!"
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vandalsblj
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What do you call a Nun wondering around the Neighborhood?
Spoiler:
A Roaming Catholic
setfree
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I had to look one up, but this one made me smile:

Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!
MattNickPooz
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How 'bout a series of "Elephant Jokes"?

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a white elephant?
A: Hold his nose until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.
Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
matthew_com
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Q. What do pigs put on their cuts?
A. Oinkment!
DizzeyMCdonald
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What did the janitor yell when he was coming out the closet to scare someone? Supplies!!
Why didnt they play cards on the ark? Becuase Noah was standing on the deck!
BelieverInGod88
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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wal? “Dam!”
Pandi_Tech
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"Why are there not any boomerangs at the landfill?"

"I don't know, why?"

"Because every time you throw one into the trash, it just flies back out!"
WorthyGamer
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Biology joke, ready?


"Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures"


Haha! Get it? No? Here.


"When you breathe, you inspire, and when you do not breathe, you expire."


Anyways, thought those were hilarious! Hope I made you laugh too!
dragondestroyer1
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Mother: eat your carrots they are good for you

Kid: then why do I get sick every time I look at them
PigLover64
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I am terrible at jokes so I always just reference memes. Just go watch the latest Meme Review and subscribe to Pewdiepie for some quality memes. "Christian Channel" guys.
NitroBeast70
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?


Breathe, stupid!
Emotionartist
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Q: A pastor, a priest, and a pope walk into a bar. They all say ouch. Why?

A: Well, they walked into a iron bar. That would hurt.
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