And now it's songs...

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Chozon1
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And now it's songs...

Postby Chozon1 » Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:37 am

Sadly, I've started trying to write songs again. Most of them are fail, but I need to learn to write good ones. :D So...Yeah. These probably aren't going to be that great. But please tell me what you think.

Timeline.

All those wasted years
I’ll trade these tears
for the fears
of the future
Am I still in delusion?
break through this confusion
of just who I am.

All the time I could’ve spent
never redeemed, just laying there
all the things I could’ve said
are left unsaid
for time nor tide will stop for man
in this world of the d*****.

He sifts through the memories
hating the clarity
of all that he’s freely
done in the past
His broken heart has no cast
How did life get so fast?
Screams the man at the edge of death.

Everything I could’ve given
Worthless now, can’t buy forgiveness
All the ones I could’ve loved
I will never know their love
for time nor tide will stop for man
In this world of the d*****.

Are we all the same?
Do we all feel this way?
Looking toward the future
Could be costing us today.
If we searched inside our minds, will we find
that our past and our future will be one in the same?
___________________________________________________________

For the record, I don't see that as cursing. :D But I edited it anyway.
___________________________________________________________

Knowing.


Beyond the stars, Above the galaxies
He’s waiting for me, Waiting for me.
This one worthless man, More than I deserve,
Yet searching for me. I beg you, find me
Getting closer to me, taking my breath away
now you know me. My spirit has been freed.

Now I’ve been found, I fall to the ground
You clearly see, what I used to be

Tears start falling from my eyes, as my spirit starts to rise
And I hear Your voice “Make now your choice.”
Desperate, I choose yes, my sins I confess.
“Remember this day. Your debt I have paid.
Now you are free! Now you belong to Me!

I know now the one who saved me!
I know now the one who shed His blood!
I know now the gift He gave me!
I know now, the holy one!

I’ve been found by One who’s holy.
Oh the wonders of His love!
Knows no bounds, His blessed mercy
Oh the wonder of His love
______________________________________________________

The odd thing about that song is, it's the first one I've been able to put music too, but also my least favorite thing I've written. =_= I have no words.
Last edited by Chozon1 on Sat Sep 19, 2009 6:30 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby Doc » Tue Jul 22, 2008 8:18 pm

I really liked them.
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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby ccgr » Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:03 am

very good!

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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby Fred1000000 » Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:48 am

Where's the reference to walking on broken glass while getting too close to the vein? Not real poetry!
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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby Pheonix » Sat Aug 02, 2008 7:09 pm

Poo-etry is right. J/K

Great job.
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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby ChickenSoup » Sun Aug 03, 2008 8:14 pm

Where's the reference to walking on broken glass while getting too close to the vein? Not real poetry!
I "lul'd" at that.
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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby TripExistence » Sat Aug 16, 2008 2:22 pm

Well, I kind of glanced these over earlier and thought them interesting, and then moved on. I came back.

The first one is particularly interesting. I kept reading and reading just to see what you were getting at. Very descriptive, imaginative imagery, these two passages I particularly liked:

"See the trees, transformed into men, tall of course.
See them as monsters, big and menacing, yet not scary
See them as shapes, unclear, yet beautiful.

See the grass, changed from blades into a single mass
A sea of green, ever moving, ever changing.
What lies beneath?
See the water, changed into a paint like substance,
painted onto a canvas no man can match."

Brings about wonderful pictures into one's head. So, I kept on reading and wasn't quite sure where you were going with it, because I couldn't figure out the meaning. And then I read the little tidbit you had on the bottom of it and had to smile. I myself have felt the same way many times, it's just you had the idea first. :)
Everything fits, and everything is perfect. Good job.

The second one I was expecting something a little different when I saw the title, but then I read it. It was short, and succinct, and well written. Good job on that one too.

Do you write poetry often?

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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby Chozon1 » Sun Aug 17, 2008 7:34 am

Dank you. ^_^

And I don't write it as much as I'd like. I mean too, but it get's pushed back by the power of the television.
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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby Chozon1 » Tue Nov 18, 2008 9:11 am

Much like food poisoning, you think it's gone, then it comes back with a vengeance. :D

The song of MAD (Mutually assured destruction.)

The world today, is a funny place, with funny things running rampant.
The world today, basically the same, though video games are released.
I find it funny that we’re advanced enough to cure disease.
But can’t seem to find, with our tiny minds, the one who is our creator.

Oh really, is that what you believe?
How silly, I think I’ll make you leave.
Instead of friendship, I’ll extend a fist.
Finding the right words is making me sick!

Math and chemistry are fun, but they aren’t a way to live.
Am I an uncle to that chimp, or the cousin of that squid?
The things I hear at times, make me want to cry.
The things I hear at times, shouldn’t occupy my mind.

Oh really, is that what you believe?
How silly, I think I’ll make you leave.
Instead of friendship, I’ll extend a fist.
Finding the right words is making me sick!

Sometimes what we believe causes humor and dismay.
Sometimes what we believe, we talk about all day!
Is arguing so fun, that it becomes an Olympic sport?
Is complaining so fun, that it’s taught to us as norm!

Oh really, is that what you believe?
How silly, I think I’ll make you leave.
Instead of friendship, I’ll extend a fist.
Finding the right words is making me sick!

There is something written here, important to remember.
One thing that’s abundantly clear. Though not as much as crystal.
The age of rocks isn’t as important as the Rock of ages!
And the age of rocks isn’t important as the AGE OF ROCK!!!!

*Riffing it up like mad!*


This is my first rock song, and it also happens to be funny. Or at least I meant it to be funny.
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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby TripExistence » Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:41 am

:lol:

That last part made me laugh so hard (Not just inside, I'm literally at my computer looking like an idiot while busting a gut). I can imagine Jack Black singing something like this.

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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby Chozon1 » Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:52 am

That is EXACTLY what I was going for! :mrgreen:
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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby Orodrist » Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:24 pm

That was hilarious! Make a vid of you singing that and post it on youtube. 1 million hit's. I promise.
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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby newcement » Wed Nov 19, 2008 1:24 am

haha, I enjoyed that thoroughly.

Very Jack Black-esque for sure.

:D

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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby Chozon1 » Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:05 am

Thanks. :D

I'm working on music for it.
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Re: My poetry. Or Poo-etry, if you don't like it.

Postby Chozon1 » Thu Nov 20, 2008 8:43 am

Yet another rock song.

Toxic chemicals.

Toxic chemi-cals!
Burn your skin and scorch your lungs!
Toxic chemi--cals
Fill your brain with toxic slugs!

See the fire, feel the flame.
Chemicals are in your brain.
Do your best to keep them out!
Close your eyes and shut your mouth!

Watch the gauge, feel the mask
chemicals are moving fast!
Can your run, where can you hide,
when the very air is suicide!

Toxic chemi-cals!
Burn your skin and scorch your lungs!
Toxic chemi--cals
Fill your brain with toxic slugs!

Breath the air, surely die
There’s no time to stop and cry.
Need to leave, mask won’t filter,
Need to live, Steps off kilter!

There’s the light, breath fresh air,
Now there’s time to stop and stare!
Got so close to chemicals bright,
fell to temptation, nearly lost your life!

Toxic chemi-cals!
Burn your skin and scorch your lungs!
Toxic chemi--cals
Fill your brain with toxic slugs!

Who will live, who shall die?
Can you face temptation, yet keep your life?
Better to run, and avoid it all,
better to run than chance to fall!

Toxic chemi-cals!
Burn your skin and scorch your lungs!
Toxic chemi--cals
Fill your brain with toxic slugs!

Look at those who failed to live,
see the red and blistered skin.
Look at those who nearly died,
see the pain and tearful eyes!

Toxic chemi-cals!
Burn your skin and scorch your lungs!
Toxic chemi--cals
Fill your brain with toxic slugs!

Toxic chemi-cals!
Burn your skin and scorch your lungs!
Toxic chemi--cals
Fill your brain with toxic slugs!

More serious than last time. I'm not sure why all these rock songs are coming into my head, but I'm not going to stop them.
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