In a time of fasting and prayer...

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HalcyonLioness
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[March 20th, 2015]

Seeing as I've had a couple post's worth of activity, I'll also leave an update on how the fast is going along.

I think this should sum up how the last week has gone: *faceplant*

A fast of this nature is both embarrassingly difficult to adhere to and humbling me to the floor.

My usual distractions (watching other people's videos, browsing what people post on twitter and tumblr, etc) I can't run to them now when I'm bored, and I am confronted with: the nature of who I'm associating with in my usual circles, my own rebellious nature, things I'm practically hitting my head against trying to overcome... and how God's right there, sitting nearby, smiling like a dad watching his little girl attempt to take her first few steps (and falling to the floor again and again) ... and I'm only a week in. I cannot fathom what waits for me in the next two weeks.

I'm being forced to listen to the people physically around me now, being constantly reminded of my current state (and lack of doing anything physically productive)... and I realize (painfully, I must add) that I need to rectify that. I still haven't gotten the luck (or the courage) to look for work (and where could a dropout like me find work? ... and I don't like using phones... I think there's some lingering PTSD from my days as a customer care rep there...)

I miss being able to socialize (Skype and tumblr were how I was keeping connected, and games like SMP Minecraft and WoW were how I got my arbitrary fix of buddy-borne shenanigans... but I realize the majority of my connections are ... dubious at best, and toxic at worst, and to my grief, they aren't aware how twisted they are.) I wish I had other believers I could physically contact in my area without shame, who aren't part of the small groups my parents run, and share the same geeky things I love to spend my time on. ... at the least this one forum is a welcome exception during this fast. Being around and communicating with other believers with similar interests is something I dearly want and need in this time.

I've still got a long way to go, but your prayers are having more effect on this time of sacrifice than you know, folks. Stuff's getting done, blessings are coming in, things are getting revealed, and there is a peace that wasn't in this house before. I pray it stays even beyond this time of reflection... Thank you, Lord, for the support You've sent our way, and blessings to all of you who are praying in agreement through this season.

He Alone Is Greater,
~Lioness

-----------------------------------------------------------------

[March 9th, 2015]
Spoiler:
I think I'm still here. *checks ... and confirms* Yep. Still here.

The Lord has been teaching our household to live one day at a time, given the nature of how he is sustaining us. He is never late, never early, and never more or less than exactly what we need. He puts the right people within reach, and the right words to direct us. It is an uncomfortable, exciting, and ultimately humbling experience... and I feel that we're just getting started.

With that little update out of the way, I'd like to fill you guys in on what's coming up.

The church I am a member of has called for a corporate period of fasting and prayer between the weeks of March 15th and April 5th in a corporate effort to draw closer to God and receive "an upgrade" from Him. We are invited to individually pray for anything else during this period and the corporate church will agree along with us. I'd like to invite you to pray alongside me and for me, keep me accountable once I enter into this period of willing sacrifice.

Now, mind that this isn't a food fast this time. Nope. Abstaining from food is easy. ... and frankly, I did that not more than a month ago, and I'll admit I've had the worst and most rebellious attitude through that period. It's true; like hot steel under a hammer, impurities come to the surface and are burned away. Looking back, much of my true nature reared its ugly head in that period, and I'm pretty sure that many-headed hydra isn't quite dead yet...

So, if it's not a traditional food fast, what is it that I'll be sacrificing in this time of turning my whole attentions once again to the Lord? Answer: The Spirit has made it clear that I am to abstain from social media for this period.

Sounds innocuous, even too easy ... doesn't it? Give up my blog and twitter and I'm golden. NOPE. YouTube counts. Reddit counts. Tumblr, Twitter, DeviantArt, Skype, various wiki-media, webcomics that I frequent, even some of my favorite PC games (and I include Multiplayer Minecraft, Blizzard games, and Steam) ... Ouch, even forums count. (I think the Lord has allowed this one forum to be an exception, as since I am inviting you guys to keep me accountable and encouraged, or at least affirm that you're with me). This is admittedly going to be rough. I'm practically cutting out 85% to 95% of what's at this point my only window into the world and where I've made something of a name for myself. ... My identity and escape.

So, I ask that while I prepare myself this week for this coming Sunday and the 20 days that follow, pray for me. I admit I am selfish and self-conscious to the point narcissism. I admit to being a sneak and a thief, secretly trying to sate my hunger and cravings while no one was looking or rationalizing away what I knew was wrong. I'll have nowhere to run to (outside of Him and His Heart) in my efforts to drown out my troubles and responsibilities soon.

TL;DR -- Fasting again, but instead of food, I'm avoiding almost anything social media, including games with social aspects. Requesting prayers and words of encouragement and affirmation.

Once again, I'll be praying for discernment, direction, initiative, decisiveness, boldness, and shamelessness in serving Him. For Him to not only sustain me and my household, but to stabilize our financial situation with consistent income and bless us more so we are better able to bless others. For those whom have adopted me as part of their family, may they miraculously regain their health and strengthen their faith though the enemy has physically crippled them. For those distant ones whom I call friends and dear friends, that they renew their faith or finally come to faith so I will not mourn them when the Day of Revelation comes. ... and pray that I will be able to recognize the "upgrade" that will be installed within me or my physical life during this period of sacrifice.

Thanks for bearing with me through yet another massive wall of text, and thanks in advance for joining me on this next leg of the journey.

He Alone is Greater.
~Lioness
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[February 3rd, 2015]
Spoiler:
This is slowly turning into a blog. At this rate, I'm going to have to actually make a blog and move all the updates over there... unless you don't mind this constant thread bumping, then I'll carry on thread bumping.

Praise the Lord that a small trickle of money's come in. A friend of ours pitched in $160 this morning. It's not the $2500 we need to climb out of our last sticky wicket, but it'll have to do.

That said, I'll put out there that I've been praying for guidance for the past several months, specifically in the vein of opening a GoFundMe or Patreon.

To iterate in a nutshell: For the past three or so years, I've been honestly attempting to work on a YouTube and a Twitch channel/freelance art and writing business to supplement the odd-jobs I do for the various family businesses, but every time I hit my stride, something happens to my main work computer and I'm severely crippled for several months due to overall lack of funds. The result is that I'm losing clientele and potential audience members in the time I need to gather the few resources I have to recover and get a working machine again.

It's safe to say that I'm gun shy now. I don't think I can take another hit like that if I ever dare take making videos/stream/work on art and prose for commission again. Despite how kind the far-flung friends I have are, they are few and far between, and I don't know if I can press for their aid again. Time are tough as it is, and I'd rather have an actual job with a steady-ish paycheck than pray I have enough commission to make it through the month.

My devotional referenced an ancient Chinese parable of an impatient farmer that slowly pulled up his rice crop because he wasn't willing to wait for the rice to grow naturally, thinking that pulling out the stalks a little would help the rice grow faster. Instead, he killed his crop because the roots weren't given a chance to grow deep into the soil.

The devotional got me thinking--I've got farming in my blood. What the farmer in the parable did was foolish, and I know I wouldn't do such a thing, until the Lord brought to my mind that it isn't so much I've allowed my harvest to wither because I've been impatient. I've been too patient. I haven't sown seeds into the little soil I've tilled, thus leaving me walking into a winter season without a harvest to sustain me, and I'm too stubborn, too reticent to ask for help. I fear that it's a combination of shame and pride that's keeping me from holding out what's essentially (to my personal point of view) a digital beggars' bowl.

I've done the math: all I need is $250 a month to survive. $500 to be comfortable. If I can make just $250 doing what I love, what I really want to do, that would be incredible. It'd be Godsend. $500 would be a miracle. The only thing holding me back is being certain about how I'm going to earn that money, and if I can truly earn it. I don't want to be that person who just takes the money and runs.

I pray for clarity and courage. Should I just get over myself, swallow my pride and bury my shame and actually open a GoFundMe/Patreon? Or should I wait for the resumes I sent out to return with fruit? I can't stand being dead weight in this household for much longer. And pray for the stamina and skills to ensure that I can uphold my end of the bargain should I be led to choose the path of crowdfunding.

He Alone Is Greater

~Lioness
.....................

[Update: February 2nd, 2015]
Spoiler:
As I write this, I feel fatigued. Fatigued all day like I've been fighting non-stop since sunrise. Frankly, I only feel this run-down once my coffee wears off ... the hitch is that I haven't had coffee in two months. There is a heavy weight on my body, my heart, and my mind--worst part is I'm not exactly sure what it is and why, and there is very little relief in sight that isn't outright (and utterly useless/selfish) escapism.

It's a new month, my period of fasting is over, but my prayers have been doubled in earnest. I've gotten word from the head of the house that we're $10,000 deep in a hole with $2500 needing to be paid out.... yesterday. Normally, I'm not one to fret. A situation like this, I rarely bat an eye, and I just carry on contributing what I can because I'm certain the Lord will take care of it; but a lot's going through my mind considering the consequences of the coming season.

We're looking at loss of internet, electricity, gas, water, basic utilities... the house checkbook holder wasn't feeling well at this news, as you can imagine, brothers and sisters. Worse is that we don't know where to turn now, and I haven't heard back from the company I've sent my resume to aside from a confirmation e-mail.

We kinda need a heavenly bail out. Seeing my family chafe this much is incredibly painful, and any relief the Lord can spare is greatly appreciated.

Keep us in your thoughts, brothers and sisters.

He Alone Is Greater.

~Lioness
-----------------

[Update: Jaunary 29th, 2015]
Spoiler:
About two weeks have passed since I requested prayer. I'm coming into the last few days of my personal period of fasting and prayer, so I figured I'd let you guys in on an update.

Things are still sketchy for us, but it seems that by the Grace of God we've managed to at least survive one more month. Pray that the constant provision we are still fervently seeking will make itself known and soon.

My aunt and dear friend has been released from the hospital last week and is now in an outpatient long-term care clinic undergoing intense physical therapy. By a miracle of grace, she has full feeling in all her limbs despite having suffered a total of three strokes. Her memory and grasp of language still isn't all there, but she's far better off than what her original prognosis was. I ask that we keep her in our thoughts going forward, because she wouldn't have made this much progress in so little time without our brothers and sisters in Christ constantly praying for her.

I've finally gathered the courage to once again seek employment. I've sent my resume to a small market just down the road from where I live; the location and atmosphere are ideal for what I want and need. I'm hoping against all odds that this is one of the sources of reliable outside income we're looking for, and that they might consider me (better yet, hire me) for the position I applied for. I request your prayer not only for success in obtaining that position, but also the stamina, awareness, and knowledge needed to maintain it.

Thanks to the Lord and to all of you for remembering my family and me in this time of focused seeking. Continue praying for us in the months ahead.

Blessings,
~Lioness
----------------------------------------------------
[Originally posted January 17th, 2015]
It must be nearly two years since I was last active here.

From my perspective, I don't consider my life to be exciting. Boiled down, it's mostly sitting in front of a monitor whiling the week's hours away with only church, a meeting or two, and maybe an errand of necessity to break up the week's routine. Safe to say that there are very few things of note to extrapolate on ... but that doesn't mean things are all honky-dory.

Good lord, where do I start?

Well, it's thankfully a quiet life. Roof over my head. Warm bed to sleep in. Food to eat. Internet to use. Time to write and ponder (mostly) undisturbed. It's simple. I really couldn't ask for more, frankly. I just wish I could enjoy it.

...

... bottom line is that I'm living with a Sword of Damocles hanging over my head.

I live with family right now, and we've fallen on hard times in the past couple years, hard times that just got harder in the span of the last four months. Our house's main breadwinner's set-aside emergency resources dried up at the end of December, and that means that our rent money's sketchy if not already non-existent at this time. If we don't find something to replace that lost income soon... well, shouldn't be too hard to guess what'll happen then.

Can't help but believe I'm partly responsible for the situation we're in right now. I've been out of any real work for nearly 8 years now, and I still keep making terrible mistakes that set back my clan despite my concerted and genuine efforts not to screw things up. Plus, I should be out looking for work instead of wasting my time editing YouTube videos I might never post and writing novels that may never see print. I keep asking the Father why I'm so hesitant to return to the workforce, as I'm confident I have no excuse to balk, but... Instead of 'Go, I got this', I just keep getting silence outside of "I will sustain you."

And the Sword of Damocles swings more precariously every day I let pass in indecision and procrastination.

I'm looking at a doctor's bill that's gone into collections because the money I had scrabbled together to pay it had to be pitched into paying rent. The house's check-balance-keeper berated me about it, especially not having the forethought of actually calling up the clinic and setting up a payment plan; she fears we might wind up in court.

It doesn't help that another dear friend of the family has wound up in the hospital due to a stroke by December's end. We've already suffered a friend dying to the same earlier in 2014 and another seemingly permanently disabled by the end of September 2013. Time that we could have poured into preparing for the end of 2014, my clan sacrificed to minister to the families affected, as is our charge as my parents are technically pastors.

And I'm just sitting here. Dead weight, waiting for the sword to break its tenuous tether and fall.

Our house has adopted a period of fasting and prayer, specifically for provision for this uncertain time... of which I am participating until the 31st of this month. With this post, I can only hope that I can muster up a few more hearts to support us in agreement.

Pray for my adopted aunt and dear friend; I ask for not only a speedy recovery but a miraculous restoration, as she was a healer and gifted with her hands. [And if you've run a raid in an MMO, you'd know how painful it is when a healer goes down.] Remember the same plea for our other dear friend, too, as she's 15 months recovering after her aneurism; she too was a healer and served as one of our spiritual 'raid leaders' before she was struck.

Pray for a stable income for my house, siblings in Christ. Pray for security for this household, that the heads of this household can finally breathe easy knowing exactly where the resources we need to keep our lives afloat will come from.

Pray for those who come into contact with me who have chosen to remain apart from Christ and have chosen to remain my friends. I've attracted colorful kinds from atheists to homosexuals, all of them brilliant in the mind, proud in the heart, and some level of angry or disappointed with the world. I cannot deny that my heart breaks for them (especially when they discuss things in perspectives and lights I don't quite agree with,) though I do try to guard myself and keep my distance... but I cannot be completely closed off as I've known some of these people for almost over a decade now, and I'm convinced that it's no coincidence that folks of particular dispositions keep crossing my path despite the number of bridges I deliberately (and respectfully) burn.

And remember me. Worse than a coward. Lacking confidence, wishy-washy with her own opinions and so easily swayed, resigned to only do as she's told (with the rare moment of silent, rebellious passive inaction or deliberate cutting of corners). Pray that I might finally find confidence and courage... that I may one day live up to my chosen internet handle and truly be a lioness.

Thanks for wading through this depressing wall of text, brothers and sisters, and keeping these requests in your thoughts. Blessings to all of you.

Stay Awesome.

~Lioness
Last edited by HalcyonLioness on Sat Mar 21, 2015 4:15 am, edited 6 times in total.
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praying, please keep us posted
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HalcyonLioness
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*quietly bumps up the thread and leaves an update in the original post*
[Update: Jaunary 29th, 2015]
Spoiler:
About two weeks have passed since I requested prayer. I'm coming into the last few days of my personal period of fasting and prayer, so I figured I'd let you guys in on an update.

Things are still sketchy for us, but it seems that by the Grace of God we've managed to at least survive one more month. Pray that the constant provision we are still fervently seeking will make itself known and soon.

My aunt and dear friend has been released from the hospital last week and is now in an outpatient long-term care clinic undergoing intense physical therapy. By a miracle of grace, she has full feeling in all her limbs despite having suffered a total of three strokes. Her memory and grasp of language still isn't all there, but she's far better off than what her original prognosis was. I ask that we keep her in our thoughts going forward, because she wouldn't have made this much progress in so little time without our brothers and sisters in Christ constantly praying for her.

I've finally gathered the courage to once again seek employment. I've sent my resume to a small market just down the road from where I live; the location and atmosphere are ideal for what I want and need. I'm hoping against all odds that this is one of the sources of reliable outside income we're looking for, and that they might consider me (better yet, hire me) for the position I applied for. I request your prayer not only for success in obtaining that position, but also the stamina, awareness, and knowledge needed to maintain it.

Thanks to the Lord and to all of you for remembering my family and me in this time of focused seeking. Continue praying for us in the months ahead.

Blessings,
~Lioness
[Epic sig pic incoming]
Livestream: [http://twitch.tv/halcyonlioness] || YouTube Channel: [http://bit.ly/X3EQNt] || Twitter: [twitter.com/HalcyonLioness] || Tumblr: [halcyonlioness.tumblr.com] || Steam: HalcyonLioness || B-Net Battletag: AstraLioness#[numbers restricted]
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Praying, thanks for the update and the physical therapy is going well!
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HalcyonLioness
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*bumps thread again*
[Update: February 2nd, 2015]
Spoiler:
As I write this, I feel fatigued. Fatigued all day like I've been fighting non-stop since sunrise. Frankly, I only feel this run-down once my coffee wears off ... the hitch is that I haven't had coffee in two months. There is a heavy weight on my body, my heart, and my mind--worst part is I'm not exactly sure what it is and why, and there is very little relief in sight that isn't outright (and utterly useless/selfish) escapism.

It's a new month, my period of fasting is over, but my prayers have been doubled in earnest. I've gotten word from the head of the house that we're $10,000 deep in a hole with $2500 needing to be paid out.... yesterday. Normally, I'm not one to fret. A situation like this, I rarely bat an eye, and I just carry on contributing what I can because I'm certain the Lord will take care of it; but a lot's going through my mind considering the consequences of the coming season.

We're looking at loss of internet, electricity, gas, water, basic utilities... the house checkbook holder wasn't feeling well at this news, as you can imagine, brothers and sisters. Worse is that we don't know where to turn now, and I haven't heard back from the company I've sent my resume to aside from a confirmation e-mail.

We kinda need a heavenly bail out. Seeing my family chafe this much is incredibly painful, and any relief the Lord can spare is greatly appreciated.

Keep us in your thoughts, brothers and sisters.

He Alone Is Greater.

~Lioness
[Epic sig pic incoming]
Livestream: [http://twitch.tv/halcyonlioness] || YouTube Channel: [http://bit.ly/X3EQNt] || Twitter: [twitter.com/HalcyonLioness] || Tumblr: [halcyonlioness.tumblr.com] || Steam: HalcyonLioness || B-Net Battletag: AstraLioness#[numbers restricted]
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Praying still
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Just reading for the first time. *WOW* You are certainly dealing with a lot especially on the medical side. My prayers are with you and your family. Please keep us updated.
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HalcyonLioness
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*bump*
[February 3rd, 2015]
Spoiler:
This is slowly turning into a blog. At this rate, I'm going to have to actually make a blog and move all the updates over there... unless you don't mind this constant thread bumping, then I'll carry on thread bumping.

Praise the Lord that a small trickle of money's come in. A friend of ours pitched in $160 this morning. It's not the $2500 we need to climb out of our last sticky wicket, but it'll have to do.

That said, I'll put out there that I've been praying for guidance for the past several months, specifically in the vein of opening a GoFundMe or Patreon.

To iterate in a nutshell: For the past three or so years, I've been honestly attempting to work on a YouTube and a Twitch channel/freelance art and writing business to supplement the odd-jobs I do for the various family businesses, but every time I hit my stride, something happens to my main work computer and I'm severely crippled for several months due to overall lack of funds. The result is that I'm losing clientele and potential audience members in the time I need to gather the few resources I have to recover and get a working machine again.

It's safe to say that I'm gun shy now. I don't think I can take another hit like that if I ever dare take making videos/stream/work on art and prose for commission again. Despite how kind the far-flung friends I have are, they are few and far between, and I don't know if I can press for their aid again. Time are tough as it is, and I'd rather have an actual job with a steady-ish paycheck than pray I have enough commission to make it through the month.

My devotional referenced an ancient Chinese parable of an impatient farmer that slowly pulled up his rice crop because he wasn't willing to wait for the rice to grow naturally, thinking that pulling out the stalks a little would help the rice grow faster. Instead, he killed his crop because the roots weren't given a chance to grow deep into the soil.

The devotional got me thinking--I've got farming in my blood. What the farmer in the parable did was foolish, and I know I wouldn't do such a thing, until the Lord brought to my mind that it isn't so much I've allowed my harvest to wither because I've been impatient. I've been too patient. I haven't sown seeds into the little soil I've tilled, thus leaving me walking into a winter season without a harvest to sustain me, and I'm too stubborn, too reticent to ask for help. I fear that it's a combination of shame and pride that's keeping me from holding out what's essentially (to my personal point of view) a digital beggars' bowl.

I've done the math: all I need is $250 a month to survive. $500 to be comfortable. If I can make just $250 doing what I love, what I really want to do, that would be incredible. It'd be Godsend. $500 would be a miracle. The only thing holding me back is being certain about how I'm going to earn that money, and if I can truly earn it. I don't want to be that person who just takes the money and runs.

I pray for clarity and courage. Should I just get over myself, swallow my pride and bury my shame and actually open a GoFundMe/Patreon? Or should I wait for the resumes I sent out to return with fruit? I can't stand being dead weight in this household for much longer. And pray for the stamina and skills to ensure that I can uphold my end of the bargain should I be led to choose the path of crowdfunding.

He Alone Is Greater

~Lioness
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I would look for steady work to get out of debt and get your hardware straightened out before diving into that full time with patreon etc
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*apologizes for a possible necrobump as she updates*

[March 9th, 2015]
Spoiler:
I think I'm still here. *checks ... and confirms* Yep. Still here.

The Lord has been teaching our household to live one day at a time, given the nature of how he is sustaining us. He is never late, never early, and never more or less than exactly what we need. He puts the right people within reach, and the right words to direct us. It is an uncomfortable, exciting, and ultimately humbling experience... and I feel that we're just getting started.

With that little update out of the way, I'd like to fill you guys in on what's coming up.

The church I am a member of has called for a corporate period of fasting and prayer between the weeks of March 15th and April 5th in a corporate effort to draw closer to God and receive "an upgrade" from Him. We are invited to individually pray for anything else during this period and the corporate church will agree along with us. I'd like to invite you to pray alongside me and for me, keep me accountable once I enter into this period of willing sacrifice.

Now, mind that this isn't a food fast this time. Nope. Abstaining from food is easy. ... and frankly, I did that not more than a month ago, and I'll admit I've had the worst and most rebellious attitude through that period. It's true; like hot steel under a hammer, impurities come to the surface and are burned away. Looking back, much of my true nature reared its ugly head in that period, and I'm pretty sure that many-headed hydra isn't quite dead yet...

So, if it's not a traditional food fast, what is it that I'll be sacrificing in this time of turning my whole attentions once again to the Lord? Answer: The Spirit has made it clear that I am to abstain from social media for this period.

Sounds innocuous, even too easy ... doesn't it? Give up my blog and twitter and I'm golden. NOPE. YouTube counts. Reddit counts. Tumblr, Twitter, DeviantArt, Skype, various wiki-media, webcomics that I frequent, even some of my favorite PC games (and I include Multiplayer Minecraft, Blizzard games, and Steam) ... Ouch, even forums count. (I think the Lord has allowed this one forum to be an exception, as since I am inviting you guys to keep me accountable and encouraged, or at least affirm that you're with me). This is admittedly going to be rough. I'm practically cutting out 85% to 95% of what's at this point my only window into the world and where I've made something of a name for myself. ... My identity and escape.

So, I ask that while I prepare myself this week for this coming Sunday and the 20 days that follow, pray for me. I admit I am selfish and self-conscious to the point narcissism. I admit to being a sneak and a thief, secretly trying to sate my hunger and cravings while no one was looking or rationalizing away what I knew was wrong. I'll have nowhere to run to (outside of Him and His Heart) in my efforts to drown out my troubles and responsibilities soon.

TL;DR -- Fasting again, but instead of food, I'm avoiding almost anything social media, including games with social aspects. Requesting prayers and words of encouragement and affirmation.

Once again, I'll be praying for discernment, direction, initiative, decisiveness, boldness, and shamelessness in serving Him. For Him to not only sustain me and my household, but to stabilize our financial situation with consistent income and bless us more so we are better able to bless others. For those whom have adopted me as part of their family, may they miraculously regain their health and strengthen their faith though the enemy has physically crippled them. For those distant ones whom I call friends and dear friends, that they renew their faith or finally come to faith so I will not mourn them when the Day of Revelation comes. ... and pray that I will be able to recognize the "upgrade" that will be installed within me or my physical life during this period of sacrifice.

Thanks for bearing with me through yet another massive wall of text, and thanks in advance for joining me on this next leg of the journey.

He Alone is Greater.
~Lioness
[Epic sig pic incoming]
Livestream: [http://twitch.tv/halcyonlioness] || YouTube Channel: [http://bit.ly/X3EQNt] || Twitter: [twitter.com/HalcyonLioness] || Tumblr: [halcyonlioness.tumblr.com] || Steam: HalcyonLioness || B-Net Battletag: AstraLioness#[numbers restricted]
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ccgr
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praying for you, let us know how it goes when you're able
Luxen
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I will pray for you and your family.

Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD! Psalm 31:24
EchoDelta
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Still praying for you. Thanks for the update.

Know this, God existed long before the Internet and even social media. It seems our society tends to only value your self-worth by the amount of followers your have. God will always love you despite all this. Love God and trust in Him. Take care of you and your family. Forget about the rest. It doesn't matter to God.

In Christ,
Ed
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HalcyonLioness
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[March 20th, 2015]
Spoiler:
Seeing as I've had a couple post's worth of activity, I'll also leave an update on how the fast is going along.

I think this should sum up how the last week has gone: *faceplant*

A fast of this nature is both embarrassingly difficult to adhere to and humbling me to the floor.

My usual distractions (watching other people's videos, browsing what people post on twitter and tumblr, etc) I can't run to them now when I'm bored, and I am confronted with: the nature of who I'm associating with in my usual circles, my own rebellious nature, things I'm practically hitting my head against trying to overcome... and how God's right there, sitting nearby, smiling like a dad watching his little girl attempt to take her first few steps (and falling to the floor again and again) ... and I'm only a week in. I cannot fathom what waits for me in the next two weeks.

I'm being forced to listen to the people physically around me now, being constantly reminded of my current state (and lack of doing anything physically productive)... and I realize (painfully, I must add) that I need to rectify that. I still haven't gotten the luck (or the courage) to look for work (and where could a dropout like me find work? ... and I don't like using phones... I think there's some lingering PTSD from my days as a customer care rep there...)

I miss being able to socialize (Skype and tumblr were how I was keeping connected, and games like SMP Minecraft and WoW were how I got my arbitrary fix of buddy-borne shenanigans... but I realize the majority of my connections are ... dubious at best, and toxic at worst, and to my grief, they aren't aware how twisted they are.) I wish I had other believers I could physically contact in my area without shame, who aren't part of the small groups my parents run, and share the same geeky things I love to spend my time on. ... at the least this one forum is a welcome exception during this fast. Being around and communicating with other believers with similar interests is something I dearly want and need in this time.

I've still got a long way to go, but your prayers are having more effect on this time of sacrifice than you know, folks. Stuff's getting done, blessings are coming in, things are getting revealed, and there is a peace that wasn't in this house before. I pray it stays even beyond this time of reflection... Thank you, Lord, for the support You've sent our way, and blessings to all of you who are praying in agreement through this season.

He Alone Is Greater,
~Lioness
[Epic sig pic incoming]
Livestream: [http://twitch.tv/halcyonlioness] || YouTube Channel: [http://bit.ly/X3EQNt] || Twitter: [twitter.com/HalcyonLioness] || Tumblr: [halcyonlioness.tumblr.com] || Steam: HalcyonLioness || B-Net Battletag: AstraLioness#[numbers restricted]
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ccgr
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We're always here and praying for you.
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