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Re: Villager News

Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2016 4:32 am
by JesusIsLord713
Villager News! The battle to reverse the hypnosis! (If it's not as funny as previous ones it's because I made pretty much the same replica before this and I somehow was logged out during the making of it and since it asked me to log in in order to post and thus I lost it, so that left me in a pretty sour mood and it might carry into my episode. Sorry. :cry: Oh and the command block idea thing came from Minecraft Story Mode)

"Welcome to villager news!" Villager 100 exclaims "We are prepared to battle!"

One of the evokers says "You fools! You don't know what your getting into!" He pulls a lever to reveal something horrifying.

"This is the recipe to create an iron golem! But not just any iron golem! Can you see what's different?"

Villager 100 inspects the design and says "I see nothing different."

"Mwahahaha! Are you serious? It's seriously obvious! Are you that dumb?" The evoker says

Villager 100 inspects further and gasps "What...HOW???? This can't be...this can't be..."

A vindicator says "Oh it can be! We found this command block back in your village hidden in obsidian deep below the village. Impressive hiding spot, but not good enough to hide it from us."

Villager 95 says "Nooo!!! Don't do it! Don't do it!"

Another evoker says "What prevents us from doing this? Nothing! That's what! Have fun dealing with the iron golem!"

He places the pumpkin on top of the command block and spawns an iron golem. But not just any iron golem. He nows has cannons where his hands would normally be and a jetpack built in on his back! "Oh dear..." villager 100 says "This isn't good"

Villager 100 says "Villager 37!"

"Yes reporter?"

"Call the pest control! NOW!!!"

"What can the pest control do? They are used to dealing with endermites and silverfish infestations!"

"Call them anyway! I DON'T CARE!!!"

"Sigh..." Villager 37 calls the pest control and is put on hold until an agent can help him. Villager 37 then says "Why do I have to wait so long?!?! And why is the music they are using rock music in the background?!?!?! This makes me angry!"

Eventually after 10 full minutes a lady answers "Thank you for choosing Extremely Fast Pest Control Service! How may I help you today?

"Bout time!" Villager 37 screams angrily "There is a huge iron golem that is immune to arrows and potions! Along with all the normal stuff a normal iron golem is immune too! He has cannons and a jetpack too!"

The lady thinks about it and replies "Hmmm...well I'll send my crew out within the next 24 hours or so, and the cost will be 20$. Or in your currency 64 emeralds."

"I can't wait that long! Can you make him come any quicker?!?!"

"Unfortunately sir I cannot, however if you pay an extra 5 emeralds the crew will come with a hamburger for you to have!"

"I DON'T CARE about any hamburger! Well maybe a little...kinda...well...I kinda crave for a hamburger. I want that hamburger!"

Villager 37 also tells her the address they are located at.

"Ok, thank you sir! Our crew will be there within the next 24 hours or so at the address you provided. Again thank you for using Extremely Fast Pest Control Service!"

Villager 37 hangs up and tells villager 100 "Well, the crew will be here within the next 24 hours or so."

Villager 100 replies "WHAAAAAT?!?!?! That's way to long to wait! Especially for some company called Extremely Fast Pest Control Service!"

"Sorry reporter. We have to!"

Eventually after a couple hours of waiting the crew finally comes. They see the iron golem at first sight and one of them says "I want that iron golem as my pet!"

Another member smacks him to his senses and they all go inside to great the villager crew, who are all hiding from the giant iron golem.

Villager 37 tells him the iron golems' strengths and weaknesses.

The leader says "I have the perfect idea!"

"What?" Villager 100 asks

"We will trap him and use lava to burn him up!"

"Great idea!" Villager 100 says "Although be careful! He can easily find you!"

The crew ignores villager 100's warning and charge straight to the golem. The golem immediately finds them and attacks them with his cannons. Successfully killing 2 crew members.

The leader says "You! Get to work on trapping him! And you! Get working on a redstone contraption to drop the lava!"

A nasty battle between the iron golem and the crew members starts as the crew members try to trap him. By the time they do most of the crew members have been defeated. They pull the lever and the iron golem roars in pain and tries to escape with his jetpack but fails, and is defeated.

"Well done everyone!" The leader says.

"Thank you so much!" Villager 100 says "I'm glad you guys weren't a ripoff!"

The leader says "Your welcome!" and gathers his remaining crew to go back home. Before they do one of the crew members gives villager 37 the hamburger that he paid for.

"Thank you!" Villager 37 says

"Ah, before you can eat it you have to give me 1 emerald in tips."

"Grrr...really?! Fine..." And villager 37 gives him a emerald.

The villagers then travel back to where the illagers are, and slowly and angrily approach them.

"No! How can this be! You defeated the iron golem!" One of the evokers says

"Oh yeah we did! Now what are you gonna do? HUH?!?!" Villager 100 says angrily.

"Well go to our last resorts! Evokers pull out your fangs and vex's and vindicators attack with your axes!"

Villager 100 and the crew barely dodge the fangs and vexes and vindicators. Villager 100 says "Villager 29! You know how to make potions right?! Well, make some that reverses their hypnosis!"

"On it!" Villager 29 says

"What hypnosis are you fools talking about now?" One of the vindicators asks "We aren't hypnotized!"

"Yes you are!!!" Villager 100 screams "I can't dodge these attacks much longer! Villager 29 hurry!"

"I'm trying!" Villager 29 screams

Eventually he makes the potions and throws them at the illagers. One of the vindicators says "Nooooooo!!! What is happening to my robes, my pale skin, my axe, and my beautiful nose?!?!"

They all transform back and are clueless as to what has happened. "What happened?" One of the villagers asks.

Villager 100 explains angrily "Well first off you guys went running into the market at night WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!!! And drank the potions WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!!!"

"We are so sorry! We won't ever do it again!" One of the villagers says.

"I forgive you, but let's get out of here! I don't like this place at all!" Villager 100 says

"Well, I'll end off the episode here. Glad to have everyone back!" Villager 100 says


"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! That's all I have to say! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Villager 100 screams

Re: Villager News

Posted: Thu May 04, 2017 8:59 pm
by kittycathead
sorry for replying on a dead thread, but there is a software i know of that makes it easy to animate...

Re: Villager News

Posted: Thu May 04, 2017 9:18 pm
by JesusIsLord713
Sorry about not making one in months, I'll try to spring one up this weekend if you'd like. :)

Re: Villager News

Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2017 1:34 pm
by JesusIsLord713
(Sorry for not making one in like...forever. I kinda grew disinterested in making one for a long time. Also the Italic text means whispering or saying something under their breath)

Villager News! A More Modern Age?

One of Villager 100's associates decided to take a walk. Villager 100 saw him starting to go and yelled at him "GET BACK HERE VILLAGER 97!!!! THERE IS NO TIME FOR WALKS OR VACATIONS!!!" Villager 97 starting crying and running back to Villager 100. But on his quick way back he tripped over something. Villager 97 said "Villager 100! Come over here! I have found something...odd."

Villager 100 said "I see nothing from here! And if I see nothing there must be nothing over there! Thus I would be wasting my time walking over there! And I need all the energy I can get and not waste any! I need this energy because...(2 hours of villager 100 talking later) that's why it would be a waste of time walking over there!"

Villager 97 just stared at Villager 100 in confusion and picked up the strange object he had found. Villager 97 walked up to Villager 100 and said "Umm...I'm sorry Villager 100, but I believe you wasted 2 hours of your time talking about why you didn't want to come over here." But Villager 100 was in to much in a state of shock to hear Villager 97.

"This is incredible!" Villager 100 said "This must be what those players... and I'm still unhappy about that one player who gave me a terrible deal the other day... call Redstone! I can't believe we have made such a find! I must tell the other villagers!

Villager 100 was a bit to enthusiastic and should've waited until it was a little later in the morning. As it was 6:00AM and most of the villagers were still asleep. So Villager 100 ended up making a lot of citizens angry and threw sticks at him.

Villager 100 said "Hehe...oops. Guess I was too enthusiastic...huh? Hehe..."

Eventually a few hours passed and he told the villagers all about the redstone dust he "claimed" to have found. Villager 97 wasn't happy about it and started going around town saying he was the one who found it. The citizens could care less on who owned the redstone dust. They were just interested in what the redstone dust was and could do.

Villager 100 said "I've heard about that the players mine more of this stuff deep underground. So deep that it's in the same layers as diamond! Now everyone...GET YOUR PICKAXES AND GET TO WORK!!!!!!!!" Everyone booed at Villager 100 and threw more sticks at him. "Ok OK! I'll give you 5 emeralds for your work. Sound good?" The citizens booed Villager 100 even more and continued to throw sticks at him. "Sheesh! 10 emeralds? That's as high as I'm getting!!" The villagers thought this was a good payment, thanked Villager 100, and got to work.

The villagers mined enough redstone to turn the whole town into a place that looked more modern! First villager 100 gave a speech and said "Hey! I've heard that something dreadful happens if you craft a redstone block. SO I BETTER NOT BE SEEING ANYONE CRAFTING ONE!!!!!!!!" But of course a villager who hadn't been listening crafted a redstone block.

Villager 100 said "Johnny! Why would you do such a thing!" Johnny replied "Huh? Who? What? Sorry I wasn't listening." Villager 100 replied with "Oh Johnny! I explained very clearly that NO ONE was supposed to be crafted a redstone block!" Johnny replied "Oh, I'm sorry." Villager 100 replied "Oh I think more than a "sorry" is going to be needed here. You've crafted something dang..." And just then there was a huge roar. It was coming from the redstone block.

The redstone block has grown larger from absorbing all the redstone related objects around it. And has grown arms and legs. It also talked too, saying "Hello citizens of this...ugly town. I am what is known as the redstone monster. And I desire one thing...the nether star." Everyone was in panic and Villager 100 said "W.w.w.w.why hello Redstone! I h.h.h.h.have no id.d.d.dea w.w.what a n.n.nether st.t.t.tar is." The Redstone monster replied "Oh you don't? Well that's too bad, cause until you bring me the nether star, I will wreak havoc on your village!"

Villager 100 said "Oh no! Not another fight with someone! Everyone get your fighting weapons! Guys...?" Everyone had ran off at that point for cover. Villager 100 yelled at the top of his lungs "COME BACK HERE EVERYONE! WE NEED TO FIGHT!"

So will Villager 100 and the citizens survive the fight against the Redstone Monster? We shall see next time...

Re: Villager News

Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2017 2:51 am
by JesusIsLord713
Villager News! Something doesn't seem right...

Right before Villager 100 was getting ready to fight the Redstone Monster, something strange happened. The world was shaking! "What is this monstrosity!?!?! Asked Villager 100, "This isn't right!!!!" He was correct, something wasn't right. In fact, many floating blocks were starting to come down.

"Oh no!!!" said Villager 100 "Did our creators finally can't be..."

Multiple floating islands and bridges were starting to come down due to gravity. In fact, every block is now gravity-effective! Villager 100 said "GRRRRRR!!! Why do those creators HAVE to add gravity to our village?!?! We didn't ask for this! We didn't want this! WE SHALL PROTEST!!!!" Even the Redstone Monster got onto the act, saying "Even though I really hate you, I think we both agree that this is bad and should be immediately stopped." So Villager 100 and The Redstone Monster decided to settle their differences, and focus on the bigger problem.

Eventually, after a few weeks they journeyed off to the Mojang office. They gathered 100 Villagers (Villagers 1-100) and the Redstone Monster to protest. They booed and threw sticks into the Mojang office windows, while the Redstone Monster threw redstone into the building. Jeb eventually noticed and said "Why are you all gathered here? We are you guys protesting?"

Villager 100 replied "BECAUSE YOU ADDED GRAVITY!!!!! We didn't ask for gravity! We didn't want gravity! I mean we don't even like the gravity we have now on sand and gravel! This is why we changed our roads from gravel to Grass Paths!" Then the Redstone Monster said "If you don't remove gravity from most of the blocks, I will destroy the Mojang office...with redstone contraptions!" Jeb, knowing was was going to happen, said "Pfft, go ahead, Redstone Monster, let me see what you got!"

Then for the next week the Redstone Monster laid all sorts of redstone and TNT all over the Mojang Office. What he didn't know that behind the scenes Jeb added command blocks to be activated at the same time as the TNT. Jeb increased the defense of the Mojang Office! The TNT failed to make a dent.

"ARGGHHH!!" Said the Redstone Monster "Why didn't my traps work?!?!"

Jeb replied "Simple, I added command blocks to increase the defense and security of the Mojang Office, so...thanks!" The Redstone monster was furious and decided to go head on for Jeb. Jeb did a command and sent the Redstone Monster flying into the sky. Villager 100 said "That's enough! What do we have to do to REMOVE GRAVITY?!?!?!?!"

Jeb replied "Sheesh! Settle it down will ya? Anyway...legend has it that there is some sort of Librarian villager that sells enchanted books. He sells all the books for such cheap prices, but very few ever manage to trade with him, let alone make it back alive."

Villager 100 said "I accept your challenge, I shall be back by dawn tomorrow to bring the Librarian you desire!"

Jeb replied "Good! Cause if you don't...then your village will forever be in gravity mode.

Villager 100 returned home and said "I'll send out a small rescue mission for the Redstone Monster, he could prove useful in this task." They eventually found him a few hours later, thankfully Villager 100 was smart and prepared before hand. Thus they were ready for their long journey.

About half the villagers from the protest came along, some reluctant, some willingly, and some even forced. Everyone kept saying "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" And every time Villager 100 would reply with "NO!!!! YOU THINK WE ARE HERE YET?!?!!"

Eventually they made it late at night into the Lost Village. It was pretty much abandoned, except with a few hot coals remaining on the torches, the only source of evidence someone was here recently. Villager 100 said "Move out! Make sure no one gets hurt, cause I ain't paying life insurance policies!"

Everyone searched the village, but found nothing. Eventually they found a secret trapdoor and went down, and found the legendary villager. The legendary villager, who goes by the name of Tom, asked, "What business do you have here?" Villager 100 replied, "Oh great Tom, it has come to my attention that you sell multiple enchanted books, yes?" Tom replied with "Yes, why?" Village 100 replied with, "We need you to come back to the Mojang Office, Jeb wants you. If you don't come our village will be forever in gravity form!" At first he rejected, but after the Redstone Monster's threats he reluctantly agreed.

Everyone head back to the Mojang Office right after dawn. Jeb said "You are one second late! Your village shall forever be in gravity mode!" Villager 100 protested, saying "But we brought back Tom! The legendary villager!" Jeb replied with, "Doesn't matter, your late! You said you would be back by dawn." Villager 100 said "We won't go without a fight!" Everyone agreed, including the Redstone Monster. Right before the fight started, Tom said "Enough! If you won't let these villagers live in their village in non-gravity form, then I shall prohibit you from trading with me."

Jeb started protesting, but Tom didn't move a muscle. Eventually Jeb caved in and removed the gravity from the village. Everyone cheered, including the Redstone Monster. The Redstone Monster even said "Hey, you know, you aren't that bad kid. I'll let you go in peace, thanks for everything!" Villager 100, flattered, said "Why your welcome, Redstone Monster!"

The Redstone Monster said "Please, call me Tim. That's my real name!"

Villager 100 then said "Why your welcome, Tim!" All the villagers, including Tim and Villager 100, laughed.

Villager 100 said "Well, I guess this is the end of Villager News! Bye bye!"


"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Villager 100 says "If 3 villagers singing wasn't annoying enough, 50 villagers singing is about 47 times as annoying!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Re: Villager News

Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 1:37 pm
by JesusIsLord713
Villager News! New Characters Clashing in? (Note all new characters introduced in this story belong to SuperCell, I’m just using some of their characters in the story)

After Villager 100 and the Redstone Monster (aka Tim) made peace with each other, the villagers decided to build Tim a house dedicated to him. In return Tim said if they ever needed any redstone, they just had to ask him. Things in the village were very peaceful for quite a while, which was unusual.

Villager 100 said one day “Man, I’m just so BORED! I am just ready for another adventure of some sort! I mean we’ve had to relocate villages, fight neighbor villages, fight and then make peace with a huge monster made of redstone…”. Villager 100 was so desperate for entertainment he decided to play blocks with his son Johnny. Johnny noticed his sour mood and asked “What’s the matter papa?” To which Villager 100 replied “Oh son, I’m just super bored and really want another adventure. All I’ve had to report in the last three weeks is just some weather that is half the time inaccurate and villager’s opinions about my beautiful nose.”

Johnny replied with “Well, I can fix that!” Johnny grabbed a toy knife and started fooling around with his dad. They played for hours until a villager reporter came in to report something.

“URGENT news reporter! We have just discovered a portal in our village! And strange creatures are coming out of the portal! And they aren’t blocky!!!!!” Villager 100 replies with “NOT BLOCKY??!?!?! Why this defies the laws of Minecraft physics! We must force them back through the portal at once!!!” The villager reporter (known as villager 52) says “We can’t.”

“We can’t, WHY?!?!?” replies villager 100 angrily.

Village 52 replies with “Because they will fight if we try to! They seem to be all decked out for battle or something, I don’t really know.”

“I shall see this for myself!” Villager 100 replies, and he quickly runs out of the house, leaving Johnny to play by himself.

As soon as villager 100 saw the creatures, he said “Oh…oh dear…gulp…they look…so…non-blocky…”. The creatures stare around in confusion, as to where they are. They automatically attacked any creatures they saw in sight, and the villagers ran in panic. Tim noticed and came to their defense, exclaiming “No one shall hurt my fellow villager friends!” One villager said to himself “Wow…he REALLY has changed…”. Another villager who heard him replied with “Are you crazy? I don’t trust him one bit! He could easily become a trai…” and at that point that villager was accidentally squished by Tim running around in the village. The former villager then replied with “NOOOO!!! Bobby!!!”

After Tim defeated a few of these weird creatures with very minimal damage to himself, the creatures retaliated. To which Tim exclaimed “Why are you attacking all of a sudden? If you don’t attack us we won’t attack you.” Most of the creatures ran in fear, but a few stood around shaking and trembling with weapons in their hands. One of the creatures then put her weapon down, and introduced herself as an archer. She said that they came from a universe called Clash Royale, and that they got here from a malfunctioning portal in their world. Tim introduced himself as the redstone monster and that all the villagers were just normal, below-average intelligent citizens living in this village. Other creatures introduced themselves, some being barbarians, valkyries, musketeers, giants, giant skeletons, skeletons, balloons, goblins and many others. The villagers noticed that all of the creatures wore or had blue somewhere on them or their weapons.

At that moment the king of all these creatures appeared, and bowed before villager 100. The king said “My most uttermost apologies, sir, I am the king of all of these creatures that happened to appear in your village.” Villager 100 replies with “On one end, I’m extremely angry with you, and on the other end, I’m really glad to have you here, it’s really weird…”. The king laughed and replied with “I get that feeling all the time too, you’ll get used to it. All the villagers throughout the village at that point passed out from all the excitement that day. One of the villagers that was with villager 100 just randomly spurt out “Are we having pizza for dinner tonight?”. Villager 100 ignored the villager and continued talking with the king. The king revealed that an opposing king and his set of creatures (in their world called troops) will be appearing shortly.

The king requested that all the villagers build an arena for them to fight in. This is when villager 100 protested, saying “We have a very limited amount of resources here, Mr. King. I’m not willing to part with 1 single block just to make some silly arena!” This wasn’t actually true, as the village had tons of supplies. Tim smacked him with a stick until he told the truth. Villager 100 reluctantly called a lot of villagers to him and asked them to build an arena for the two kings to fight in. The villagers were willing to do it if, of course, they were paid nicely. Villager 100 was willing to pay each villager 2 emeralds, to which all the villagers booed at him and threw sticks at him. Villager 32 even had a flint and steel to potentially light villager 100 on fire with. Villager 100 upped it to 10 emeralds, but the villagers were still unsatisfied. Right before villager 32 lit villager 100 on fire the latter exclaimed “No! No! Don’t do it! HELP!!!!! Alright! Fine! I’ll pay you all 20 emeralds each for your work!!! Now please don’t burn me to ashes!!!” The villagers were finally satisfied and started working on the arena. The king also remarked "Wow, your emeralds look a lot like our gems! Maybe we can trade...". Villager 100 replies with "How"

The villagers unfortunately didn’t get finished before the red king arrived. The red king was actually pretty nice to the blue king and his troops, which shocked the villagers. The villagers finally finished the arena after a few weeks. Villager 100 said “Well, I’ll end it off here! Next episode the kings will battle each other!”

“DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN VILLAGER NEWS!!!!!!!” All the villagers sang once again. The kings and their troops eventually joined in as well. This made villager 100 all the more angrier, screaming “AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY DOES THIS SONG EVEN EXIST!!!! Wait…I don’t think this is even a song! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

(Note: Yes I know this episode probably isn’t as funny as some previous episodes, but I just couldn’t find a lot of places to put humor in. Next episode should have a lot more humor though. I’m hoping to get the next episode up later this week. Hopefully you didn’t find this episode too weird. Let me know what you think of the episode and if you have any suggestions please post them below! :D )

Re: Villager News Is Retiring

Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2018 10:20 pm
by JesusIsLord713
Guys I think I'm going to retire this series. I make a new one like every several months and no one seems to be commenting on them anymore. So I think now is the time to put this thread to peace. Thanks to everyone who continued to read the villager news I created despite months of no new episodes. I might create one more so the story doesn't end on a cliffhanger, but I don't know if I will or not. Thanks everyone for reading and God Bless you!

Re: Villager News

Posted: Tue May 01, 2018 12:07 am
by kittycathead
You're welcome!! :)

Re: Villager News

Posted: Tue May 01, 2018 1:05 pm
by ZappierVirus
I really liked these but I understand. It can be really hard to get new ideas. Also, it is hard to keep going when no one seems interested. Thank you for making these, they were really good.